I have a confession: I’ve been incredibly selfish lately. I can’t remember the last time I blogged (and quite frankly with some of the drudge I’ve been seeing I feel like that’s a dirty word now.
Can I call it musing?
Let’s call it that.
We have been up to so much and there’s so much I feel I want to share but at the same time I’m like “eh”.
“It seems like a lot of work” is my battle cry as of late.
We’ve been adventuring, experimenting with new recipes, getting back into our running groove (I kind of resemble a tortoise trudging through peanut butter but still), getting tattoos started and finished, trying new foods, scheming for additional back yard projects, watching one of my two almond trees die, feeling anxiety ridden at family gatherings, antiquing in the middle of nowhere, screaming at the television during the Stanley Cup playoffs (I would tell you who I’m rooting for but that feels confrontational) and I haven’t said a blessed word about any of it.
I thrive on honesty and I’ve just been so silent that it feels dishonest (please tell me that makes sense). Not that the world needs ANOTHER Caucasian, thirty something, artistic, single mom scribing about her life but still.
I suppose I’m putting in writing that I will be more present. Which again sounds silly because I’m so ensconced in my home life that I can never be accused of not being present, at least with them and no offense that’s where my priorities are haha.
I suppose I’m aspiring to be more present in the world. Not necessarily at social gatherings and such but there’s just so much out there, it’s beautiful and I want to share it.