The evening I flunked being a mom

So my youngest wanted this book that he saw at a little shop called Home Economics that we go into every so often.

He has been asking me to get this book for him


I called the store today and asked them to put it on hold for us. Cohan was beyond thrilled and he walked around the farmers market with it clutched to his chest, beaming, asking if he can read it when he got into the car.

I smiled feeling like I hung the moon and like I had fulfilled my motherly win for the day…

The book has the most adorable cover. A cute chubby, cartoon dog with a red foil heart in a speech bubble over him.

Then we got in the car.

Mischievous giggles sounded behind me.

Soon I heard my oldest with a smile saying “um I think that has the S word…”

*even more uproarious laughter from my youngest*

I intervened, grabbing for the book, saying “no no let me see it. I thought it was just a book about a pet dog.”

I flipped to the next page and the cartoon dog was accosting a Honda and shouting four letter words.

It was hilarious.

I had also flunked as a mom (for the day).

The kids were absolutely cracking up and I was thinking of ways to put stickers over the non kid friendly words.

The author had no idea it would be purchased as a children’s book. I don’t think the shopkeeper had any idea it wasn’t a children’s book.

At the end of the day I had still flunked yet I haven’t heard my children laugh that hard in a long time (and our house is positively bursting with mirth).

Ps I’m fully anticipating people that don’t know what it’s like to truly parent to take great offense to all of this instead of seeing the humor behind good (yet failed) intentions in parenting.

Remind me to tell you about the time my mom took my brother and I to the rocky horror picture show in Berkeley. We all thought it was just going to be watching a movie….she still refers to it as the night she flunked motherhood.

Carry on warrior.20140529-202957-73797502.jpg


Saints be praised! An update on the Disneyland menu

In my last post

Being an unhappy Vegan at the happiest place on earth. | The Pollyanna Complex

I was all sorts of frustrated.

There is good news though! My friend told me about a burger at the Carnation Cafe (on the left side of Main Street before the candy shop) that is actually billed as “Vegan”. We set out to try it and were pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t a hockey puck type patty on a stale bun. It’s a black bean patty, lettuce, tomato, pickled red onions and a chipotle vegan mayo. It was very good (I’ll admit a bit too spicy for my taste but considering I was calling a potato on a stick a “meal” when we were there Monday night I have absolutely no actual complaints). The burger and fries came to $11.99 and I recommend checking to see if reservations would help procure a table a bit quicker (we wandered around for about 20 minutes waiting for ours).
The other plus? The waitress was awesome! She warned us about the oil possibly being cross contaminated with dairy etc. I may have died and gone to heaven for a bit and the clouds were made out of Veganaise…

Also I am happy to report: the famous Dole Whip is 100% dairy free *swoon*